Now Playing Tracks

Makes me mad!!!!

I hate it that my friends I used to have don’t bother with me anymore, I feel they have took sides and that hurts because they have only heard one side of the story. I try and not let it bother me but it really upsets me they only talk to me when they can be bothered so I have kept my distance. Just because I don’t tell them my side of the story it’s all been twisted but I’m not going to lower myself to bitch about that person who had twisted things I’m the bigger person I just hope my friends I used to have understand that I do care and that I miss them


How my life had changed in 10 years

10 years ago I was very poorly with anorexia I spent 7 years of my life in hospital either being tube fed or in psychiatrist wards. There are times when the doctors didn’t think I would make it I list count of how many hospitals I went in. I ended up being sectioned under the mental health act 3 times which each one last between 12-18 months I just didn’t want to carry on I was so depressed and frightened to eat because I didn’t think I derserved it. I don’t no what changed in my mind I think I just couldn’t do it any more and the constlant was threading to put peg feed me which meant I would have a feeding tube out through into my stomach I do wanted to get better but every time they discharged me I was back in within days , I have lived on my own since I was 17 my mum and sister went to live with my mums new partner who didn’t like me and I wasn’t allowed to go with them , so I lived everywhere in supported accommodation for people with mental health problems. I made some good friends in each one but nothing made me stay out of hospital. I used to tick off the days when I was out and set myself a goal one day , one week , one month finally it got to six months and I was doing okish it was hard but with my mums support ( she came and saw me once a week) i carried in going. Then I decided I wanted to do a college course but felt that I was a bit to old and everyone else would be slot younger but I did it and I focused on that and completed it last year. Also last year I moved away which helped a lot as everyone knew my past and I needed to go somewhere I could just be me not the anorexic that everyone stared at. I met the man ifs dreams there and 11 months on I have never been happier and I’m pregnant ! I have oases my driving test and I have done really good friends. It has been hard sometimes as I have also lost a good friend whilst living here, but I had good reason to back away from them it really hurt and set me back abit but I kept my mouth closed as I don’t want anymore hurt. Thee are days that I really struggle with getting bigger and clothes not fitting and the never of the scale going up but it just goes to show I never thought I would recover and I’m not saying that I won’t ever get I’ll again because no one can predict the future and I have relapsed before but I have things to live for now and I am going to give my baby the love and comfort they deserve

We make Tumblr themes